I will finish. I will finish. I will finish.

I started writing this post a month ago:

“This is why I plan – no one thinks I can finish in 3 years, so I set myself a deadline: lab work done by December. That sounded great when I had 9 months to do it all (so much time!). But now I have less than four months and it is scary. Normally I spread out my lab work amongst meetings, writing, and teaching, but lately I have scheduled a stupid amount of lab work, and am just fitting meetings, writing, and teaching in between. Yes, that is working… I love starting in the lab at 6:30am!

I looked back at my first post and it was on self-care, which is something that I have let go of late. I am not getting enough sleep, am not eating enough (or enough of the right food), and have gotten (too many) weeks behind on these posts, which was supposed to be a key part of my self-care routine, to encourage myself to take time out, breath, and think. The initiative I founded last year, has really taken off, in both good and aspects and I really love working on it, but it is taking a good 5-10 hours a week. I spend more time at home on the weekend but this is time I spend doing work, while my partner occupies himself!

My head is above water, but the difference between above and below is getting smaller and smaller I think.”

I remember sitting in my regular café and yes, with my head barely above water.

Thankfully, my lab work has slowed down but now is a crucial time for me – I need to plan my experiments carefully to tie up what I need for my thesis – no big deal, right? I am heading into just under a week of rec leave, which is sorely needed I think (even though it is to go to a Women in Science National Symposium in Melbourne!). I liked this article, about how resilience is really how you recover, not how you push through. I loved this shift in mind-set (as in my lab, ‘resilience’ means pushing through no matter what), and have felt a bit ‘naughty’ recently by doing 0 hours PhD work last weekend (whilst starting and finishing ‘How to get away with murder’ on Netflix!).

My aim is to do 0 hours work on my PhD during my rec leave – I get 20 days a year, which is a well-deserved break, and I really need to rest, recover, and recharge!

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